You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
