He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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