I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He better not be in your backpack
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
