I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
