i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I showed him my bush... on skype.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize