so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
