I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
