Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
