I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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