you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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