I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm really busy with my period
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