Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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