Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
