I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
