i permit you to call me
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize