I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize