i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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