He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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