in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize