is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
