Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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