You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
