The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
