I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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