idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
There's always time for handjobs
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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