They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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