then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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