She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
