Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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