I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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