every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
