Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
