It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
