I'm so fucking centered right now
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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