Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
