I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
