When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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