I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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