Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sorry about my life...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
