You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I need to sanitize my soul.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
