I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
