She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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