Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
