I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
