but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
false alarm, still single
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