Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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