Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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