Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
