he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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