dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize