i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
