I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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