Sponge bath it is.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
