I wannas sexs uuuuu
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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