C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
