Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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