My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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