u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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