Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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