no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
