i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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