Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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