Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
