I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just google imaged poop.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
