Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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