i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
