What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize