did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
