Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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