Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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