no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Randomize
