Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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