My girlfriend figured out who you are.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I would fuck him just for his dog
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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