I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
