You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
