spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
