After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
